Finding love is not easy, neither is it hard. But society’s expectations for us to get married can make a loveless life difficult to live, especially as we approach festive occasions like Chinese New Year.
It’s a great occasion for families to reunite and catch up while feasting on bak kwa barbecued beef jerky or steamboat dinner. The atmosphere is boisterous as we revel in comforting nostalgic traditions, like gifting Mandarin oranges to our elders.
Then comes the awkward question.
“When are you getting married?” the question usually goes, typically requiring a well-thought-out reply supported by valid – if not plausible – reasons.
“I’m not getting married because … I’m going back to school/starting a business/I just broke up,” the answer normally goes.
After which, you’ll wander into the next room of the house and ask yourself why you’re still single when the right question you should be asking is: “How can I find love?”
1.Love yourself
If you don’t love yourself, it’s hard for people to love you. I tell my clients that all the time when they come to me for readings, specifically those with concerns about relationships. People who love themselves tend to radiate and give off good vibrations that draw others in and become attracted to them. I know this is true because I’ve seen it happen many times. Conversely, if you don’t recognize your self-worth and always think lowly of yourself, you will not get people’s attention.
2. Be yourself
Many people make the common mistake of faking their personalities when dating, causing partners to become unprepared upon learning their significant others’ actual character. If you want to know whether the person you’re dating is right for you, you have to be your authentic self from the very beginning. If you have to, tell them from the start that you’re looking to settle down. No surprises or risk a broken heart.
3. Be open
Not in a cheap way, of course. Be open to getting to know all kinds of people without judgment. Don’t be shy and encourage yourself to meet more than one person simultaneously, including making the first move on online dating apps or in interest groups. Getting rejected or disappointed is all part of the process. But once you find someone you can connect with, take your time and get to know the person. Refrain from being intimate so soon.
I hope you find Mr. or Mrs. Right soon. All the best!